Components of the grieving process may be easier to accept and cope with if they are consciously understood. Therefore, I have outlined major issues. Interested couples can either read the original sources or consult a professional psychologist specializing in this area.

The grieving process often includes sequential periods of

• denial, beginning with the shock of learning that there has been a death
• anger, often inappropriately directed at anyone the person thinks about or sees
• bargaining, often involving charitable acts or attempts to reconcile damaged relationships
• depression, often associated with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
• acceptance, enjoying the time spent with family and social groups "more than ever."

There may also be changes in one's self image. The changes that have been described in the context of the loss of a body part may be relevant, including

• impact, beginning at the point of awareness that there is a problem requiring the loss of a body part (or here essentially a "family part")
• retreat, where denial of the importance of the loss may occur (a second opinion at this point is often important in allowing movement toward closure)
• acknowledgment, with acceptance of the need for treatment generating an attempt to place the treatment and loss into an appropriate context
• reconstruction, a redefinition of self image without the presence of the lost part (or family member)

In this grieving process, if the "redefined self images" of each member of the family can not be accepted by the other members then there is often a long lasting impact possibly resulting in depression. If a couple can "not get over the loss" then professional counseling is often quite powerful and should be recommended.